THIS IS PART ONE OF (A TOTAL WASTE OF LIFE)
PHASE ONE: THE THRILL!!!
MEET A GIRL AND FALL FOR HER
HAVE SEX WITH HER (SHE TELLS YOU THIS IS THE FASTEST SHE HAS EVER SLEPT WITH ANYONE)
FALL IN LOVE (OR LUST)
HAVE UNLIMITED PASSIONATE EYE BALL TO EYE BAWL SEX FOR ABOUT 2 MONTHS (YOU STOPPED USING A CONDOM AFTER THE 3RD TIME BECAUSE SHE LOOKS HEALTHY AND HAS NOT COUGHED SINCE YALL MET)
GET HEAD (SHE TELLS YOU SHE ONLY DID IT ONE TIME B4 YOU)
TEXT HER ALL DAY ABOUT STUPID SHIT! J SAND: BABY IF LOVING YOU IS WRONG I DONT WANNA BE RIGHT
START BUYING HER THINGS BECAUSE YOU "LOVE" HER
"BABY I GOT YOU THAT $49,000.87 PITT BULL YOU SAW JESSICA SIMPSON WITH ON MTV"
SHE COOKS ALOT AND ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT ANYTHING TO EAT WHEN SHES ON HER WAY
MAKE HER A LOVE MAKING CD OFF YOUR ITUNES!!!
CONVINCE YOURSELF SHE IS THE ONE...
SHE BECOMES YOUR "GIRL FRIEND"
SHE STARTS TO COME OVER ALMOST EVERYDAY AND GETS MAD WHEN YOU SAY NO SHE CANT!
START SPENDING LESS TIME WITH YOUR BOYS
STOP DEALING WITH THE OTHER GIRLS (OR GET LESS SERIOUS WIT THEM)
START TO LEARN HER WAYS AND GET TO KNOW HER (AFTER ALL THAT HUH?)
START TO NOTICE SHE IS LEAVING THINGS AT YOUR APRTMENT. (CURL CAP, COMB, SOAP, PERFUME, CURLING IRONS, SHIRT, SLEEPING SCARF, TOOTH BRUSH)
START BUYING HER LESS THINGS
THE THRILL WEAKENS AND YOU ARE LESS ENTHUSED ABOUT HER.
SHE STARTS TELLING YOU , YOU DONT GO TO CHURCH ENOUGH AND STARTS QUOTING JOHN 3:16 ON YO ASS (YEAH)
THE ASS HOLE STOPS COOKING AND ALWAYS WANTS TO GO OUT AND EAT...
GO OUT TO EAT WITH HER AND SHE GETS AN ATTITUDE WIT THE WAITER BECAUSE HER FOOD IS COLD (DOIN TO MUCH)
HAVE AN ARGUMENT AT WORK, OVER THE TEXT MESSAGEs WITH HER ABOUT WHY SHE HAD AN ATTITUDE ABOUT YOU PUT LOCK CODE ON YOUR PHONE AND GET NOTHING DONE AT WORK ALL DAY!
GET TIRED OF HER COMING OVER
START TO WONDER WHO SHES TEXTING ON HER PHONE
START HAVING LESS SEX
HAVE AN ARGUMENT ABOUT HER NOT ANSWERING HER PHONE AT NIGHT AND GOING TO THE CLUB TO MUCH.
THIS MANIAC POPS UP AFTER YOU TELL HER NOT TO COME BY.
CHECK HER PHONE WHILE SHES IN THE SHOWER AND SEE A FUCKED UP TEXT FROM SOME NIGGA...
TOMMY: IT WAS NICE SEEING YOU SENT 03/24/2009 @ 3:38 AM
TRY TO HOLD IT IN BECAUSE YOU WOULD SEEM LIKE A LOSER
2 DAYS LATER HAVE AN ARGUMENT ABOUT TOMMY AND YOU CHOKE SLAM HER ON THE BED! SHE SQUIRMS AWAY AND GETS UP LIKE SHE WANTS TO FIGHT BUT NOTICES SHE WONT WIN AND BACKS UP TALKIN CASH MONEY SHIT... YOU TELL HER TO GET ALL THE SHIT SHE HAS LEFT AT YOUR HOUSE OUT AND CURSE HER OUT. SHE STARTS YELLING AT YOU ABOUT HOW YOU ARE NOT A MAN AND YOU CANT FUCK... SHE TELLS EVERYBODY YOU HIT HER AND ITS OVER FROM THERE
SHE FORGETS TO FLUSH THE TOILET AT YOUR HOUSE AND YOU SEE HER SHIT...
YOU LOSE TOTAL INTEREST IN THIS MONKEY
YOU BREAK UP
PHASE 2: THE LOSER
TRY YOUR HARDEST NOT TO TEXT HER THAT NEXT WEEK
START HANGING OUT WITH YOUR BOYS AGAIN
START LOVING MUSIC AGAIN
START READING AGAIN
GO TO THE CLUB WITH YOUR LOSER FRIEND AND MEET A THICK GIRL AND HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND.
HOOK BACKUP WITH SOME OLD FEMALE FRIENDS WHO YOU PUT ON THE BACK BURNER
START WORKING OUT SO IF YOU SEE YOUR EX YOU CAN LOOK GOOD AND FIT
PUT A SHIT LOAD OF NEW PICTURES OF YOU ON MYSPACE AND FACEBOOK OF YOU ENJOYING LIFE, GRILLING LAMB LINKS, AND LOOKING GOOD IN FRONT OF BEACH WATER HOPING SHE SEES THEM.
NOTICE HER CHILDISH ASS DELETED YOU FROM HER MYSPACE FRIENDS AND YOU GET OFFENDED.
GO TO HER FACEBOOK PAGE AND READ HER STATUS "ENJOYING LIFE AND ACCEPTING ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT GOD HAS IN STORE FOR ME AND LEAVING BITCH ASS NIGGAS BEHIND" updated 3 hours ago.
LOOK IN HER PICTURES AND SHES DOING IT BIG JUST LIKE YOU (CLUB, NEW CAR, LONG ASS WEAVE NEW APARTMENT)
HEAR FROM A FRIEND SHE HAS ANOTHER MAN
START GETTING DEPRESSED
GET BACK ADDICTED TO PORN
BECOME LESS HOT AND PLAYED OUT BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS AT THE CLUB AND CHANGING YOUR PICTURE ON MYSPACE AND FACEBOOK...
HAVE A 3 HOUR CONVERSATION WITH YOUR SERIOUS FRIEND ABOUT GOD, POWER MOVES, LIFE, AND HOW YOU NEED TO GET IT TOGETHER.
START GETTING BORED WITH MUSIC AND THE INTERNET
MEET A WHITE GIRL WHO COOKS CLEANS AND TREATS YOU LIKE A KING
TRY YOUR HARDEST TO STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR EX AND HER NEW MAN TERRELL
TEXT HER AND SHE DOESNT TEXT BACK...
HAVE AN ARGUMENT AT WORK WITH A WHITE PERSON ABOUT HOW BLACKS ARE TREATED IN SPORTS
DRIVING HOME FROM WORK NOTICING EVERYBODY IS SPEEDING PAST YOU GIVING YOU THAT "ASS HOLE" LOOK BECAUSE YOU DRIVING TO SLOW
YOUR ONE NIGHT FREAK HAS A MAN NOW... NOBODY TEXTS YOU ANYMORE..
GO TO THE GYM TO PLAY BASKETBALL AND HAVE A 45 MINUTE ARGUMENT OVER A FOUL WIT SOME CLOWN WIT A WAVE CAP ON WHO YOU NEVER SAW AT THE GYM, AND ALMOST GET INTO A FIGHT...
PHASE 3: MAKE UP SEX...
START TO MISS YOUR EX AND WONDER WHAT SHES DOING...
GO OUT TO A CLUB AND GET DRUNK AND U DECIDE TO CALL HER WHEN YOU LEAVE
HER: HELLO
YOU: WASSUP, WHAT YOU DOIN
HER: SLEEP WHY YOU CALLIN ME SO LATE
YOU: YOU WERE ON MY MIND I MISS YOU, I HEAR YOU GOT A NEW BOO
HER: I MISS YOU TO BABY, I HAD A FRIEND BUT HE WAS STUPID
YOU: YOU GAVE HIM SOME?
HER: (LYING) BOY HELL NO!!!!
YOU: (HAPPY DUMB ASS) OH THATS COOL I SEE YOU GOT A NEW APARTMENT LET ME COME BY...
GO BY AND END UP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX (NOT KNOWING WHO SHE BEEN WITH OR HER NOT KNOWING WHO YOU BEEN WITH)
START TO TALK TO HER DAILY AGAIN
HAVE A 3 HOUR CONVERSATION LYING ABOUT WHY YALL NEVER HAD SEX WITH ANYBODY WHILE YAL WERE APART. AND LAUGHING ABOUT HOW YALL WAS LOOKING AT EACHOTHERS FACEBOOK PICTURES GETTING MAD.
START TO FEEL LIKE IT WILL WORK AGAIN
START GETTING TEXTS FROM THE OTHER WOMEN AGAIN
SHE CONVINCES YOU TO GO TO CHURCH WITH HER THEN CONVINCES YOU TO WALK IN THE FRONT AND JOIN! (YOU WALKIN ALL IN FRONT THE CHURCH WIT A DUSTY ASS EASTER SUNDAY SUIT AND PEOPLE LOOKIN AT YOU CRAZY BECAUSE THEY HEARD YOU HIT HER)
SHE STARTS COMING OVER AGAIN
YOU START TO MISS YOUR FREEDOM
GO TO THE MOVIES AND YOU NOTICE YOU HAVE PAYED FOR EVERY DATE YALL EVER BEEN ON SINCE YALL MET (NOT THAT YOU CARE BUT U TIRED OF THIS MANIAC)
YOU GET BORED WITH HER
YOU START READING THE BIBLE AND FINDING OUT SHES FULL OF SHIT...
YOUR SERIOUS HOMEBOY GIVE YOU A BOOK ABOUT THE ILLUMINATI AND YOU START TO LEARN ABOUT THE WORLD
TRY TO SHARE SOME OF THE INFO WITH HER AND SHE IGNORES YOU AND SAYS "GOD IS LOVE"
GET FED UP WITH HER AND HER OPRAH WATCHING ASS!
START TO WANT TO THROW HER NEW STEVE HARVEY BOOK OUT THE WINDOW!!! "THINK LIKE A WOMAN, ACT LIKE A MAN"
NOTICE SHES GETTING FAT
START TO NOTICE LIFE IS SO MUCH EASIER AND LESS EXPENSIVE WITH THE WHITE GIRL... SHE LISTENS TO YOUR KNOWLEDGE COMPLIMENTS YOUR MUSCLES AND NEVER ASKS WHO YOU ARE TEXTING OR TALKING TO. SHE EVEN COMPLAINS ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT!!!! (ITS A DAMN SHAME WHEN A WHITE GIRL COMPLAINS ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT BUT NOT YOUR OWN KIND)
TELL HER SHE NEEDS TO WORK OUT AND SHE GETS MAD
"IF YOU NOT HAPPY WITH ME FOR WHO I AM..."
GET IRRITATED WHEN SHE TEXTS, CALLS, OR COMES BY...
SHE CHECKS YOUR PHONE AND SEES A TEXT FROM THE WHITE GIRL AND FLIPS OUT
YOUR TRY TO CONVINCE HER WIT THE BIBLE THAT YOU CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE WOMAN "SOLOMON HAD 1000 WIVES BABY"
START TO NOTICE ALL KINDS OF LITTLE THINGS YOU DONT LIKE ABOUT HER "WHERE DID THAT BLACK MARK ON YO BACK COME FROM?"
START COMPLAINING MORE AND MORE TO YOUR SERIOUS FRIEND ABOUT LIFE HE GIVES YOU ANOTHER BOOK ON BLACK HISTORY
YOU TRY TO TELL HER PASTOR G IS STEALING HER MONEY AND HES NOT TELLING THE FULL TRUTH SHE CALLS YOU THE ANTI CHRIST!!! (THEN SHE STARTS TALKING IN TONGUES)
YOU TELL HER YOU ARE TIRED OF THE WEAVE AND SHE SHOULD GROW AN AFRO... SHE TELLS YOU SLAVERY IS IN THE PAST AND THAT BLACK POWER SHIT IS PLAYED OUT
SHE LEAVES SUPER-HEADS BOOK "CONFESSIONS OF A VIDEO VIXEN" AT YOUR HOUSE AND NOTICE SHE HAS HIGHLIGHTS ALL THROUGHOUT THE BOOK, BUT WONT AT ALL READ ANY OF YOUR "WHAT REALLY MATTERS" BOOKS
START TO REALIZE YOU REALLY NEED TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE B4 YOU HAVE SEX
FIND A WAVE CAP STUCK IN HER COUCH AT HER NEW APARTMENT...
YOU DRVING WIT HER ONE DAY AND SHE SAY SOMETHING STUPID AND YOU START TO WANT TO CHOKE HER AGAIN...
YALL END UP FALLING OUT OVER A FRYING PAN AND BREAKING UP AGAIN
OPTIONS: CALL THE WHITE GIRL AND LIVE IN PEACE
OR MEET ANOTHER BLACK WOMAN AND START BACK AT PHASE ONE...
THE END...
1 comment:
lol truth!
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